What does AIDS look like to you?

About once each month, Lea Toto takes a Saturday to train the children on a topic of relevance to them--and there is a ton of options to teach about! This past month, the age group was from about 8 years to 12 years and I decided to go back to basics a little and find out what they knew about HIV, and then give them some information on what HIV is (and what it isn't).

One of my major challenges in working with the age group was the issue of disclosure--I was teaching them about the details of HIV, without letting on to them that they were positive. Some children can reach age 14 and not know their status (their parents tell them the drugs they take are for something else).

Note: After taking some shots while at the training, I found out that this was not allowed. I completely understand why, and the following photos are to depict what was taught, not who was there.



I started by asking the kids what they did know about HIV--'What is HIV?' and 'How do you get it?'



For the most part, they were right on the button! I was pleasantly surprised.



To discover their honest perspective on HIV/AIDS, we asked them to draw 'What AIDS looks like to them'.

This exercise is a common one in teaching children about HIV/AIDS, and always seems to bring out some varied responses. Many drawings can depict the stigma that surrounds HIV in the Kibera community, while some can range from silly to serious (to completely unrelated). Here are some of their responses!











I really appreciate anyone taking the time to read my blog while I'm away--it really means the world to me! My apologies for being MIA for so long--but, as promised, I've added some new photos below that I took around Nairobi. Feel free to check them out!

Mzuri sana

Just a little note to let people who read this and/or care about my well being that I am doing very well (mzuri sana). I haven't updated in ages because there has been rain, thunder, and lightening each evening which causes power outages and therefore no internet. But I am well, (relatively) healthy, and definitely safe. I have a ton of updates and have been up to some good, and this week I go on a mini-vacation to Ethiopia which I am looking forward to.

Back soon (and with pictures!),

Kayla :)

Things to Smile About

Remember when I said I would take a daily photo of something wonderful? Admittedly, I haven't been doing it as often as I should. But here is the first (of hopefully many) albums of awesome.

This was my birthday treat to myself. A delicious slice of cheesecake and a milkshake. Awesome!

Some pretty jewelry being sold at Maasai market downtown. Beautiful.

Funny sign in Nairobi encouraging people to get enough Vitamin C. Hilarious and therefore effective.



A nice text from my co-worker Juliet that made my day.



Some traditional/slightly tourist oriented art for sale in the Maasai market in downtown Nairobi.



The Hilton hotel in the middle of Nairobi is a wonderful meeting friends place/people watching spot.



My computer will not accept that I took new photos of cupcakes, so I'm just putting this one up again. For my birthday, my roomate ordered me some delicious cupcakes! Yum.



Contrary to some stereotypes at home, Nairobi City is very developed and has some cool architechure--here is a shot of Times Tower in city centre.



Some beautiful, modern African art in a downtown coffee shop.

My apologies for the delay in adding more photos! I jumped on the opportunity of good internet today and hope to be updating a little more often, provided things go as planned! :) Thanks for reading!

Rosalia's Letter

This past Wednesday at Lea Toto, we had a 'Teens Day', where all the HIV+ teens in our program came together to learn about drug adherence, teen issues, and were also able to socialise with others sharing the same experience as them. Rosalia was brave enough to share this letter with the group, and it sets her far beyond her years. She gave me the 'okay' to share it with you!

Presenter: Rosalia (Form IV Candidate at State House Girls)

Greetings to doctors and staff of Lea-Toto and my fellow teenagers. It is a privilege for me to stand before all of you today in an effort to touch at least one person’s life.

As we all know, we are living with a virus in us. The first thing we should do about this is to accept it. The truth remains that there are things that are beyond us and that we can’t change them. The best we can do is accept God’s will to be done in our lives. God does everything for a reason and his reason is never negative. We should always know that God has a plan for us. There is a reason why we are bearing that virus and the worse we could do is deny it. Always remember that every person has their own cross to bear, ours is this tiny, stubborn virus. Once you accept that you can do less about it, all will be fine. With God on our side and with our hearts willing to accept our cross, we will surely go places!

After accepting, it is important that we do something about it. We are extremely blessed to be receiving medication for free. God shows us his endless love every month when we come here and go home with enough drugs. It is important to remember that not everyone is able to get enough medication like we do. It is just a grace from God and we should all say a big ‘Thanks’ to God the almighty. We should therefore ensure that we all take our prescribed drugs without failure, because that is a way of showing gratitude to God.

By refusing to take drugs for any reason whatsoever, we are just hurting ourselves and tormenting our bodies for no reason. Refusing to take drugs is just the same as slapping God on the face. It is like telling God that we are tired of receiving his graces. Is it really right to throw back to God what he has given us for free? Please, let us not do that to our heavenly father who gives us these drugs with a lot of L O V E!

Away from drugs and now to studies. We should all keep in mind that the world today requires only learned people. Nowadays, your face, your body, your cash, your beauty, and your fashion cannot take you anywhere. The only thing that can take you where you want is education. With good papers, there is nowhere that you cannot go. There is no one who can stop you from pursuing the career of your choice, so long as your grades are satisfactory. I strongly believe that no one of us has heard of anyone who was stopped from doing Medicine, Engineering, or Law just because they didn’t have a figure-8, six-pack, or nice clothes. Your papers will always speak for you.

It is quite normal for some of us to doubt our abilities compared to other people, at some point. There was a time in school, when some exam papers for a certain subject were returned and I emerged number 2. At that point, my heart justified itself by saying, “It’s okay, how can I be the first one and yet I have this virus in me?”. Just then a voice talked in me and condemned me harshly for that statement. The voice reminded me that the virus inside of me does not stop me from shining; it does not stop me from being the best. The same applies to all of you; the virus inside you does not make you less able that the rest. What they can do, you can do even better.

Another fact is that, the sun will never stop shining because some teenager somewhere has a virus inside him or her. The world will never stop developing because some teen somewhere is HIV+. The cutpoint for the university will never go low because some student in a certain school takes ARV’s. The requirement for a certain job will never ever be changed just because one of the applicants has HIV. The constitution will not be changed because of you and me.

This calls for extra strength and power from us. We are expected to work harder in everything that we do, in order to reach the same standards as our fellow teenagers. We should not expect the world to treat us more fairly than others just because we are living positively. In our studies, let us work extra hard and for sure, God will reward us.

The greatest thing is to always put God first. He created all of us and has a plan for us. Let us not forget God’s word; the bible which speaks to us every time we read it. I would like to believe each one of us has a bible because that’s the only way through which we can listen to God’s very own words. Worship him and remember him in everything you do. Most of all obey his will because he tells us that obedience is far much better than sacrifice.

Last but not least, this short prayer should always keep us going:

Dear God,

Give me the strength to change the things that I can change,

Humility to accept the things I cannot change,

And the wisdom to distinguish the two.

AMEN.



God bless us all!

Isn't this inspiring, especially when coming from a 15 year old? My favorite part is 'Refusing to take drugs is just the same as slapping God on the face'. She is so wonderful, simply put.

21 22

Yesterday, I turned 22. It seems that with each year older I get, the less crazy excited about it I become. I remember making lists upon lists to do with birthday parties in elementary school. Who was invited, what things to eat, what to do. This year, I just enjoyed my day--which was quite a bit like my other days but with a bit of birthday happiness mixed in.

It was the regular things that made my day so nice! The social worker I was shadowing was gone for the morning so I got a bit of responsibility--a few people had to pick up WFP rations, so I greeted them and got them to where we keep all the corn, beans, oil, and flour. Then I got to do some home visits in Makina--I hadn't been there in ages! We went on 3, and I talked (sometimes directly, sometimes indirectly)to each family about what is going on for them and what any needs might be. A couple of big things I've come across lately is food insecurity and rent issues--food prices are going up (Milk went from 35 cents to 45 cents a couple weeks ago)and rent is increasing due to a variety to issues, some of which are slum evictions (So the government can make roads and housing in their place--when there is less housing in the slum, the prices go up. There are few rights here too so it is technically legal I believe). After the home visits, I got to fill out the per visit paperwork (which is nice, if you get to do the home visits). Then just some filing and hanging out with my coworkers-I took the matatu with one of them too so it made the ride a little less boring during the traffic.

When I got home, I treated myself to a precious bowl of KD, a soda, and a hedgehog from Purdy's that I had been saving. Awesome!

What was even more awesome was finding that I have one more macaroni and cheese package left after this meal--thought it would have been done! So, happy birthday to me.

In my humble 22 years on this earth I think I am blessed in that I have experienced a lot and therefore, learned a lot. I have grown in ways I didn't think were possible. This past year, I feel I've had an exceptional amount of 'learning opportunities', which I am sure are truly positive things and that are good happening sooner rather than later. They aren't mistakes if I learned a valuable lesson from them--and each one will definitely guide me through my 22nd year and beyond.

In true Kayla style, I think this is good opportunity to make a resolution. This year, I am going to choose happiness.

Don't we so often not? The bus is always late, someone said something mean at work, or they ran out of your favorite thing at the shop. This year, I'm glad the bus arrives at all. I'm understanding everyone has bad days and that it isn't personal. That if they ran out, you're saving a couple dollars and likely didn't need it badly anyways.

That is one thing I've noticed this past year--the ability to choose your happiness. There have been times where I've thought 'Does God not really see me as worthy of something good, so now I am experiencing this?' or 'Why does this person get this, while I do not?'. Now, I'm seeing things as the opposite--I get to learn a sweet lesson. You aren't being deprived of something, you are being given an important lesson that not everyone might get! I'm going to try to take a photo of one awesome thing each day, and post it. A visual diary of wonderful things to share.

I've still got a ways to go, but I'm grateful what I've come to know in my 22 years here on earth. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Choose happiness. Worry more about impressing yourself, and less about impressing others. You get one body, treat it right. Learn to forgive. Stand up for yourself. Don't sweat the small stuff. You're worth it. Reward yourself. Be honest. Give. Love. Be a good friend, a good daughter, and a good person in general.

I've also come to realize that as a person of 22 years, I cannot really get away with procrastination. I'm going to sleep early, reply to emails in a timely manner, clean up right away, and write papers and reports on time. I assume this will save me a lot of grief and will also help me choose happiness!

Asante sana for reading :)

Volunteering Update...

My main premise on coming to Kenya was to volunteer and help in as many ways as I could, and to hopefully broaden my social work skills. I thought I might give you all an update of where I'm at with that :)

I'm still volunteering at Lea Toto, and it has been good. Not always perfect, but good. My day to day activities can usually include:

-Filing Social Work and Medical Forms
-Going on home visits in Kibera, to check and see how our clients are doing (this includes assessing any new needs of the client, any new events going on, checking on their drug adherence, and seeing how their health and schooling is progressing)
-Going to the bank, the school outfitters store, the shoe store, and to various schools to pay school fees and check on quotations for school uniforms
-Visiting any clients who may be in respite, or the hospital
-Filling out per visit forms and writing down everything I've done with the clients
-Handing out vouchers for school uniforms and shoes, sometimes assisting with World Food Program food distribution
-Going to some sort of training (sometimes in Swahili, but still--a good way to broaden my skills and connect with clients)
-Helping out in the pharmacy, packaging Septrin (inhibits growth of viruses in the body--I believe), sometimes administering prescriptions
-Taking tea and bread(if you don't, its considered blasphemy)and sneaking some to sweet little kids

These are some of the things I love love love doing! My favorite thing is to connect with clients, and see when we've made a positive difference for them. Yesterday, I had a woman with a young girl thank me on behalf of the program for the food aid she had recieved, because the family had been going hungry lately. It is good to see a positive change happen for someone.

I heard from a friend that people come to Africa with this fiery compassion and just want to do everything possible--but that after around 3 months, you get a sort of compassion fatigue. It is such a buzz word in the social work field, but I can see what is meant by that statement. For instance, while I should be shocked at what I see in Kibera every day, I have grown used to it. I don't flinch at having to long jump over streams of garbage and sewage, and my first time here I cried when I found out some of the children were HIV+ --but not anymore. Since I see these things daily, they become less of a shock to me. I'm choosing to see this as kind of a blessing though--that because of this level headedness, I may be able to connect with people and help facilitate some manageable change here, no matter how great or small.

I have encountered more struggles this time in Kenya though, both work and non work related. Included are.....

-Feeling as if I cannot connect with my clients and coworkers properly. My manager asked me about this and was very honest in saying that it is likely because I am white and foreign, with the language barrier being significant. Sometimes clients feel nervous to encounter me, and you can't exactly have water cooler talk with your coworkers when they are speaking a language you don't fully understand. My way forward with this is to convey kindness and compassion in any way and to everyone I can, in addition to broadening my language skills.

-Lack of a support network. Man, do I ever appreciate having coffee after work with Michelle, Ann, Angel, and Mauricio last time I was here. It was an excellent way to unwind after encountering whatever in the day. It has been more difficult this time around because I come home straight after work to an empty house (Emmanuel gets home late) and because I have 1 foreign friend to connect with. My goal for this one is to try to meet some more people, either foreign or Kenyan.

-The heat. I'm pretty sure all the mabatis (tin roofs) in Kibera just suck all the heat to that one little area. I lose most of my body weight in sweat daily. Gross, I know. I'm going to invest in some tank tops, shorts, and sandals from Ngara market to help this. Also to be supplemented by ridiculous water intake, sunscreen,and hiding in the shade when possible.

-The thought that I'm not doing enough here. There are days in which the most satisfying part is seeing all the dirt wash off of me and knowing that I am now a clean person (Gross--again--I know.). Sometimes it seems that filing odds and ends and sitting at a desk isn't the best I can be doing, that more assistance could be done if I were down in the deepest part of Kibera, problem solving with clients or something. I know that filing helps, but sometimes I get kind of grumpy that my social work skills aren't exactly being ameliorated that way. I've heard social work is 20% field work/80% paperwork, which is both daunting and comforting. Way forward with this is to do a variety of things at the program and try to stay inspired.

-The bank of Kayla. My Dad always used to joke that I saw him as the bank of Dad. Growing up, I needed food, shelter, field trip money, whatever. Because Dad is Dad (And Dad I am grateful for--thanks, Dad.)Here, there is a stereotype that white=rich. People see my fair skin and ask me to buy them things. In fairness, Canadians do on average make more that Kenyans. But if you know me, you know that I am pretty careful with my money and dislike being taken advantage of (who doesn't?). So sometimes I struggle to figure out who to help with what I have. When I'm downtown usually I'll buy a loaf of bread and give some to people I come across who are begging. Constantly I am asked for school fees, to buy lunch, or 'Mzungu, buy me a sweet!'. I can't help everyone, but I can help some people. My idea for this is to just use my better judgement--know what I am truly able to give, assess who is truly in need and who may be targeting me based on my appearance, and to generally give at my discretion. I think it is everyone's job to look out for others, but also to look out for themselves.

-Dirt. Gross comment #3: Haven't had a proper bath or shower since I got here. I bathe out of a bucket with about 12 litres of water, and just pour it all over myself and lather until I'm acceptably clean. The first thing I will do when I get back to Canada is take a long, hot shower. Then grab Tim Hortons (Steeped Tea, double double), grab my besties, and go watch some Timbits hockey (I highly recommend it--its adorable.)


So yes, life here in Kenya is not always perfect. There are days I feel I haven't done enough or days I feel down. But the good always seems to outweigh the bad, and paying school fees for a young girl, holding a new baby, and seeing a child eat after going without always warms my heart. Getting down and dirty is well worth it. It is part of what makes Kenya so lovely, and what makes me want to spend my time here.


"Go now to make a difference in this perilous and broken world.
May you all hold each human life in the same regard as your own.
May you bring serenity and peace to the lives of others.
May God's Loving Spirit go with you and guide you this day and always.
Amen."

- Convocation Benediction Given by The Rev. Brian Yealland,
Queen's University, 30 October 2003.

Dear Aga Khan University Hospital,

You are a business, not a hospital. And your customer service sucks.

Attempt #1: Sent with a letter marked 'URGENT' from your sister clinic downtown (to whom I paid a handsome consultation fee which was to be extended to my hospital use) to see a ear specialist since I am going deaf. Ear specialist decided to take the day off. Rescheduled by nurse for ear clinic.

Attempt #2: Come for the ear clinic. Find out it has been cancelled by the doctor. Reschedule appointment.

Attempt #3: Since I didn't see the specialist after I had gone to the clinic, they wanted me to re pay the consultation fee. Not my fault, your doctor went home early, then cancelled the clinic. I will not re pay, my pride is too big and my bank account too small.

I'm better going off to KNH, where the nurses are striking. Even if they aren't showing up for work they are at least doing something productive/more than you are and I bet the service is better too.

I'll be back only to insult you in sign language, since I am still going deaf.

That is all.

Sincerely,

Kayla Woodruff.